Every day brings new challenges and the possibility of major decisions. Your rational faculties are required for some choices, while your emotions justify others.

How to Define Emotional Maturity

The ability to make wise, constructive choices in the face of adversity is a hallmark of emotional maturity. Making solid decisions consistently boosts self-esteem, reliability, and social appeal. Making poor decisions, on the other hand, leads to emotional immaturity and decreased productivity.

How Can One Recognise Emotional Maturity?

If you want to be emotionally mature, you need to know yourself inside and out. You project an air of cool composure, befitting your advanced emotional maturity. One should always confide in a significant other who has reached a high level of emotional maturity and ask for help when experiencing difficulties. They might not know everything, but they can help you relax and get perspective.

Emotional Growth Occurs in Three Distinct Phases

There are three distinct phases in the evolution of feelings. The great thing is that, despite your best efforts, you can still complete the last level.


Dependence on other people for one’s sense of value and contentment is a hallmark of the infantile stage of emotional development. You were physically immature and reliant on your parents when you were younger. As you age, you develop an emotional dependence on your circle of friends, your career, and your romantic partner. If you’re still in this phase, you might expect to feel hurt and deceived by others around you rather frequently.


The second phase involves recognising that your happiness is dependent on the happiness of others. This level requires the ability to demonstrate empathy and compassion. Giving to other people with the expectation that they would return the favour makes you joyful.


This final phase of emotional development involves coming to terms with the fact that your feelings are independent of the actions of other people. Instead, it’s totally up to you. At this point, you should know that you can decide how to react to the challenges you face. You know how to manage your emotions, so you rarely become angry or upset over anything. You know and love yourself very well.

What Makes a Person Emotionally Mature?

Individuals who have reached emotional maturity tend to exhibit these traits:

You’re Taking Complete Blame

Accepting responsibility for one’s actions is an indicator of emotional maturity. When things don’t go as planned, you don’t pass the buck on other individuals or circumstances. In addition, rather than focusing on the negative, you actively seek out ways to improve the situation. You are a doer who strives for excellence in all you do.

You’re Very Empathetic

Your goal in life is to help others and accomplish nice deeds. You care about those who are emotionally immature and offer them emotional support because you know they need it.

You Recognise Your Faults

When you’re wrong, you’ve learned how to apologise and make amends. You are willing to not just acknowledge your shortcomings but also make amends for and improve upon them. You also recognise that you have limitations and do not have all the answers. You don’t try to win an argument by proving your point.

You Have No Fear of Exposure

It’s simple to confide in someone who can offer support in times of need. You are also very forthright about your current situation. Because of this, people are more likely to open up to you and trust in you.

You’ve Established Good Boundaries

You treat yourself with admiration and adoration. This shows you’ve healthily established reasonable limits. And when you’re being put down, you know to stand up for yourself. You have the self-control to shut up and make corrections well.

Does Old Age Bring Wisdom?

The age of majority does not automatically confer emotional maturity. Emotional maturity can vary widely among people of different ages. Even fully grown individuals can lack emotional maturity.  It depends on several things whether or not you are considered mature for your age. One key indicator of maturity is the breadth and depth of life experiences you’ve had, even at a young age. You have high levels of emotional intelligence if you know how to control and direct your feelings in healthy ways.

One’s level of maturity can be inferred by their emotional quotient. Emotional IQ is independent of chronological age. Your ability to understand, manage your impulses, and solve problems all stem from the prefrontal cortex of your brain. At the age of 25, this characteristic reaches maturity.

Assessing Emotional Development

Clinically reliable testing can only be obtained with the help of trained experts. To begin gauging your level of maturity, please answer the following questions truthfully:

How did you handle a difficult circumstance recently?

Did you respond to the individual who was next to you by snapping at them or by addressing your tension in a level-headed manner? You need to work on your emotional maturity if you are unable to take responsibility for your actions and instead place the blame on others.

How did you respond to shocking information or a sudden shift in plans?

Do you become excited or irritated when people discuss major events in their lives like getting married, having a baby, getting a promotion at work, or expanding their business? One sure sign of emotional immaturity is reacting negatively to the news, rather than sharing in the happiness of others.

How often do you get irritated?

How many times a day would you guess you complained? How often have you been irritated by the people and objects in your immediate environment? Do you take stock of what you have rather than what others have, rather than making comparisons? Don’t be a spoiled brat like others who can’t be bothered to be thankful for the opportunities afforded to them.

Who is responsible for everything that goes wrong?

It’s okay to have a terrible day once in a while. But if you can’t stop laying the blame for your bad moods at someone else’s or your own feet, it’s time to focus on your emotional development.

Ways to Develop Emotional Maturity

Through navigating the challenges of life, you develop emotional maturity. Staying in your safe space won’t help you grow up. You can develop your emotional maturity in several ways. If you want to prevent being an emotionally stunted person, you can follow these guidelines.

It’s Important to Recognise How You Feel

It’s important to be able to put a name to your feelings. Your surroundings have a significant impact on whether or not you act positively or negatively, regardless of the mood you are experiencing. To truly comprehend yourself and your reactions, you need to be able to recognise them. You could try keeping a notebook in which you detail the events and feelings that culminated in an outburst. Old patterns will emerge, and you’ll be able to figure out what’s behind them. This may help you get perspective on how to handle such situations in the future.

Don’t Feel Bad About Yourself

It’s okay to be human and make errors. The only way to take charge of your life and make it your own is to learn how to progressively free yourself from the sense of humiliation.

You Need to Set Reasonable Limits for Yourself

You must be able to keep unwanted people out of your area and should have the emotional maturity to determine when, how, and with whom to share your space. Self-respect and self-control are hallmarks of someone with a strong sense of personal limits.

Take Responsibility for Your Life

You can’t let other people have their way with your life. Both the good and the negative things that happen to you should be on your shoulders. Emotional maturity requires self-regulation.

Look at Other People With Interest and Compassion

Anyone lacking in emotional maturity would do well to practise tolerance, compassion, and forgiveness. Take some deep breaths and calm down if you feel yourself getting angry with the responses of others. You need to watch how you come across more closely and consider the opinions of those around you. Be the greater person and stand aside if other people are being difficult after you have shown them more grace. Your mental health can no longer tolerate it.

You Need to Look Up to Someone Important

Having a positive role model to look up to can be a huge boost to growing up emotionally. You should try to model yourself as a successful person. The individual who you look up to is calm under pressure.

Relinquish Your Emotional Maturity

You don’t need to be coerced into being an adult. You need to want to develop your emotional maturity and be committed to doing so every day. Recognizing your value, seeking and accepting forgiveness, and reaching out for assistance when you’re in need are all necessary steps on the path to self-improvement.

By Wolves